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zeekatai: Oh, I just realized that the answer is: I lose, because my...

zeekatai: Oh, I just realized that the answer is: I lose, because my hilarious joke is being read by everyone I've slept with, plus several relatives.

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adamplease: http://twitpic.com/yok8a - just 2 guys at mlk brunch! JUST US TWO...

adamplease: http://twitpic.com/yok8a - just 2 guys at mlk brunch! JUST US TWO GUYS JUST BRUNCHING

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zeekatai: Songs that help fight anxiety: "Rainbow Connection," "There's Room...

zeekatai: Songs that help fight anxiety: "Rainbow Connection," "There's Room for Everyone in This World" from 'Pete's Dragon,' and screaming.

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zeekatai: 'Cocktails for Two' is being featured as New and Noteworthy on...

zeekatai: 'Cocktails for Two' is being featured as New and Noteworthy on iTunes. DIANA AND I ARE THE NEW KINGS OF THE INTERNET! http://ow.ly/YSdt

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zeekatai: My podcast is more popular than Dane Cook's podcast. MY PODCAST IS...

zeekatai: My podcast is more popular than Dane Cook's podcast. MY PODCAST IS MORE POPULAR THAN DANE COOK'S PODCAST.

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lonelysandwich: Turns out I've been using "vice versa" wrong all these years....

lonelysandwich: Turns out I've been using "vice versa" wrong all these years. And vice versa. I did it again, didn't I?

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zeekatai: I hope Leno's guests on his first night back are someone from...

zeekatai: I hope Leno's guests on his first night back are someone from Jersey Shore and a baked potato. And then I hope the potato cancels on him.

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oh_no_jo: ALERT THE MEDIA: Some nice young man offered me his seat on the L!...

oh_no_jo: ALERT THE MEDIA: Some nice young man offered me his seat on the L! That happens? #hownice

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tylercoates: SORRY, HARRY POTTER NERDS. YOU ARE THE WORST. http://t.co/WUozvwnW

tylercoates: SORRY, HARRY POTTER NERDS. YOU ARE THE WORST. http://t.co/WUozvwnW

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joeljohnson: I'm a pretty princess.

joeljohnson: I'm a pretty princess.

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tylercoates: I think the GQ list of the 25 Least Influential People is really...

tylercoates: I think the GQ list of the 25 Least Influential People is really dumb! http://t.co/7XvBUw9B

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johnshankman: Chillin #marcfam style with the nypd in soho http://t.co/N5a14K1K

johnshankman: Chillin #marcfam style with the nypd in soho http://t.co/N5a14K1K

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zeekatai: This is me discovering lipstick. You're welcome. http://t.co/ZT40aEwY

zeekatai: This is me discovering lipstick. You're welcome. http://t.co/ZT40aEwY

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Choire: The pilot just requested that all the party people say "hey."

Choire: The pilot just requested that all the party people say "hey."

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Choire: I Can't Stop Eating This Mediocre Pastrami Sandwich, by Choire Sicha...

Choire: I Can't Stop Eating This Mediocre Pastrami Sandwich, by Choire Sicha #longreads

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SeeJaneMarie: I just turned Edith into Brigitte Bardot. http://t.co/59NiL6KM

SeeJaneMarie: I just turned Edith into Brigitte Bardot. http://t.co/59NiL6KM

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tylercoates: It costs too much money to touch a dolphin. :( :(

tylercoates: It costs too much money to touch a dolphin. :( :(

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JesseThorn: Babyfun! http://t.co/Spta301M

JesseThorn: Babyfun! http://t.co/Spta301M

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Choire: UH OH I ATE EVERYTHING.

Choire: UH OH I ATE EVERYTHING.

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